March 25, 2014 by urbanhealthjunkie
Am inspired to post this after an opinionated outburst from a loved one recently, that resulted in disharmony.
One of the most obvious and significant attributes of humans is the ability to communicate through speech. We can also communicate our thoughts in real time; we do not need to plan what we’re going to say before we say it, which has both advantages and disadvantages.
This innate ability is often the source of consternation when what we say on the spur of the moment is something we later wish we had either not said, or had said differently.
I’m not pointing the finger, we’ve all been there – just because we have something to say, then we think we should say it, even if it may be hurtful, inconsiderate, or inaccurate. What can we do about it? Given that this behaviour is something I’m guilty of especially after a tipple or two, I’ve taken note of the circumstances when what I say is not what I, upon reflection, would have wanted to say.
Ask yourself, does it happen mostly with one particular person or a particular group of people or just groups in general? Is it most often in arguments or debates? Is it when you’re “on the spot” and pressed to supply information? Try to find a pattern. When you’re aware of what circumstances are most likely to produce this unwanted effect, become observant about when those conditions are manifesting. The more skilled you become at recognising this, the better you will be at changing your approach.
When I take a moment to slow down, I’ve never regretted it. It always gives me a better perspective. And referring to the self-evaluation THINK tool is always a winner.